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Groaners
03-30-2018, 01:09 PM
The thread for bad jokes (SFW, please) that are not photoshop memes.
Q: Why did the wizard build an edible clock?
A: I don't know, but I bet it was a very time consuming endeavor.
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RE: Groaners
03-30-2018, 03:37 PM
For future use throughout the thread:
-- Bob
I have been Roland, Beowulf, Achilles, Gilgamesh, Clark Kent, Mary Sue, DJ Croft, Skysaber. I have been
called a hundred names and will be called a thousand more before the sun grows dim and cold....
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RE: Groaners
03-30-2018, 05:05 PM
One windmill turned to the other windmill and asked, "What kind of music do you like?"
The second windmill answered, "I'm a big heavy metal fan."
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RE: Groaners
03-30-2018, 05:25 PM
That's very odd. A lot of those blades are (IIRC) some carbon composite material (it's light and strong), or if we're talking about old school windmills wood and cloth coverings.
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RE: Groaners
03-30-2018, 05:47 PM
How many of the Wicked Witch's flying monkeys does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: All of them; One to hold the bulb and the rest to spin the world around it
Wolf wins every fight but the one where he dies, fangs locked around the throat of his opponent.
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RE: Groaners
03-30-2018, 08:15 PM
(This post was last modified: 03-31-2018, 08:38 AM by robkelk.)
Since it's Easter...
On the third day, He arose, rolled the stone from in front of His tomb, and walked the Earth once more.
A passer-by stopped Him, pointed at the stone, and said, "Close the door behind You! Were You born in a barn?"
--
Rob Kelk
Sticks and stones can break your bones,
But words can break your heart.
- unknown
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RE: Groaners
03-30-2018, 08:42 PM
Gonna be politically incorrect here and tell an ethnic joke. [scare chord]
So, this Irishman walks out of a bar.... No, seriously. It can happen.
*****
Children, don’t talk to strangers. Strangers don’t want to hear it.
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RE: Groaners
04-01-2018, 10:01 AM
Did you hear the one about the American who walked headfirst into the bar?
Repeatedly
I love the smell of rotaries in the morning. You know one time, I got to work early, before the rush hour. I walked through the empty carpark, I didn't see one bloody Prius or Golf. And that smell, you know that gasoline smell, the whole carpark, smelled like.... ....speed.
One day they're going to ban them.
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RE: Groaners
04-01-2018, 11:02 AM
(04-01-2018, 10:01 AM)Dartz Wrote: Did you hear the one about the American who walked headfirst into the bar?
Repeatedly
Trump?
The period of history known as the Dark Ages was called that because there were a lot of knights.
I hear skunks are very religious creatures; they each have their own pew.
Do dockworkers suffer from pier pressure?
Energizer bunny arrested, charged with battery.
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RE: Groaners
04-01-2018, 04:21 PM
No Norgarth, he made a THUMP
Wolf wins every fight but the one where he dies, fangs locked around the throat of his opponent.
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RE: Groaners
04-02-2018, 11:03 AM
paraphrased from one of Martha Chavez's jokes:
"What do we want?"
"Cat food!"
"When do we want it?"
"Nyaow!"
--
Rob Kelk
Sticks and stones can break your bones,
But words can break your heart.
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RE: Groaners
04-05-2018, 11:00 AM
A Scotsman and an Irishman were entering a bar when the Scotsman calls out, "Drinks for the house on me!"
The next day, the newspaper headline read 'Irish Ventriloquist found beaten to death behind pub'.
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RE: Groaners
04-05-2018, 07:14 PM
(This post was last modified: 04-05-2018, 07:15 PM by Norgarth.)
If a guy swallows a viagra pill, but it gets caught in his throat, does he end up with a stiff neck?
I get paid weekly. Very weekly.
Want to hear a pizza joke? Never mind, it was cheesy anyway.
RIP boiled water. You will be mist.
Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was out standing in his field.
I wrote a song about a tortilla. Well, it's more of a wrap.
My friend's bakery burned down last night. Now his business is toast.
Why did the snowman name his dog Frost? Because Frost bites.
What kind of doctor fixes broken Web sites? A URLologist.
Why did the cat join the Red Cross? It wanted to be a first-aid kit.
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RE: Groaners
04-05-2018, 07:46 PM
Did medics in the Roman legions give injured soldiers a 4?
-----
"The Lady of the Lake, her arm clad in the purest shimmering samite, held aloft Excalibur from the bosom of the water, signifying by divine providence that this was some killer weed."
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RE: Groaners
04-08-2018, 09:56 AM
What do you call an inconsistant mushroom? Spore-adic.
A bicycle can't stand on it's own because it's two-tired.
What's the definition of a will? It's a dead giveaway.
A backwards poet writes inverse.
When a clock is hungry, it goes back four seconds.
Local Area Network in Australia: the LAN down under.
He often broke into song because he couldn't find the key.
What do you call a Communist who's really accurate with a gun? A Marxman.
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RE: Groaners
04-20-2018, 11:09 AM
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RE: Groaners
04-23-2018, 11:56 AM
(This post was last modified: 04-23-2018, 03:34 PM by Bob Schroeck.)
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