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Dead Bang
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I've got an updated file at the same site now. About 72K RTF.
www.cyberus.ca/~dragonflight/dead_bang/ Now to figure out how to register my name. Maybe I can use a modification. I've done that before... 
Do you mean as a user here? I believe you can register as a local user for this board only and not worry about collisions with other ezBoard members.
Of course, it's been so long since I've seen a registration prompt, I don't know where they are. In the mean time, I must trot over to your website and get the latest version of DB1... -- Bob --------- There's no wrong way to eat a Rhesus. 
A request (before I go off and read the update): post your stories in plain text format and not RTF? From the first incarnation, you don't need any of the formatting the RTF gives you, and text is much more portable (and smaller
)Go ahead and work on it in RTF (or whatever) as your master, just post as plain text - your readers will thank you. Thanks (see! )Offsides Drunkard's Walk Forum Moderator and Prereader At Large
Interesting start
A couple comments - Sylia "teaching" Lisa - Light the candle, put it out, light it again... very reminiscent of a scene in the first book of the series DW1 was based on, teaching a firestarter to start controlled fires, put them out, start them again..... During the movie theater scene (Oct 12 2037) it's said that Nene is just shy of 25 years old. Nene's birthyear is 2014, if you go by the date shown in that old BGC video game her birthday is August 31. So she's actually about 6 weeks past her 23rd birthday at that point. Not that it probably matters any. Sylia asking Linna to take over Loon - I'm a bit surprised she didn't give Linna's past history with the Changs as one of the advantages to her running things there. btw -- I think you had Linna leave Raven's Garage wearing a jacket over a robe over her testing gear. You didn't have her change out of her workout gear anywhere along the line. Typo when Madigan's secretary fills her in on the overnight news: "I cant very well have our international offices gong rogue on me now, can I?" "Also, on a related note, Miss Reika Chang, the rock star known as Vision has flown into Megatokyo." -- I think there should be a comma after Vision. Girls in the sewers, eh? Certainly more problematical than alligators.  Jeanne Jeanne Hedge www.jhedge.com go.compuserve.com/Comic ![[Image: 6bf36ddc1d2c96930d75576c361a9b3f8152885f.gif]](http://www.accessdenied-rms.net/forums/forumimportfiles/6bf36ddc1d2c96930d75576c361a9b3f8152885f.gif) Jeanne Hedge www.jhedge.com "Believe me, if I have to go the rest of my life without companionship, knowing myself won't be a problem." -- Gabrielle of Potadeia
"...gong rogue"
Oops... I considered it, but the inference between the lines is that Linna already knew, since Reika had had a letter from Linna before the story started to the effect that the Chang Group was in a partnership with Loon. That was what brought Reika to Megatokyo, in fact, and was broadly hinted at in the prologue. Still, I thought there would be little need for Sylia to bring that up. The opportunity to make more money in the business world should be all the lure Linna would need to jump at the chance. She's been demonstrated as a dance instructor who's keenly interested in the business executive model. I don't know. Maybe it's the dressier attire, or the intimation of power over others. Maybe it pays better. She's also money-hungry. (Maybe it's just a better way to meet guys? She goes through them fast enough.) Anyway, thanks for the info. I'll make the changes today...
One of the things that's really hard to do in plain text is italics.
That's the big reason why I resort to RTF. It makes it really easy to put exclamations into the storyline without lots of distracting text. I'll do a text conversion however, if you like, and leave it up to the reader to decide which one they want.
Quote:There are a couple oft-used conventions in place of italics for text files: _underscores_ or *asterisks*. When it comes time to do a fully formatted version, then you do a find and manual replace.Jeanne Jeanne Hedge www.jhedge.com go.compuserve.com/Comic Jeanne Hedge www.jhedge.com "Believe me, if I have to go the rest of my life without companionship, knowing myself won't be a problem." -- Gabrielle of Potadeia Quote: Jeanne Hedge www.jhedge.com "Believe me, if I have to go the rest of my life without companionship, knowing myself won't be a problem." -- Gabrielle of Potadeia
Now that I know when it is, absolutely!
Having biographical data is really helpful for stuff like that. As for writing in her birthday party, absolutely I will! Now I just have to figure out if anything particularly *nasty* happens (there's me practicing with asterisks. )Anyway, previously you mentioned how Lisa's training looked similar to Griffon's from the Valdemar series. Having read (or own) most of the series, that's not surprising. I'm re-reading the "Winds" trilogy to get a feel for the different levels of magic ability. They're pretty nebulous when you get down to it. More about self-maintaining spells, channelling and power levels the more powerful you get. Bob mentioned that Lisa has to be a well-trained and competent Adept by the time she jumps into his timeline, and doing that became a heck of a lot easier when I read something he wrote way back in the first couple of chapters. Back when Doug first sampled the Megatokyo Node.
Bwah? What would that be?
-- Bob --------- There's no wrong way to eat a Rhesus. Quote:It's also reminiscent (intentionally, from what Dragonflight said elsewhere) of Skeeve's early training in Asprin's "Myth Adventures" series. -- Bob --------- There's no wrong way to eat a Rhesus. Quote:Some rendering engines -- such as that used for plain text email in Mozilla -- even recognize them and alter the text accordingly. -- Bob --------- There's no wrong way to eat a Rhesus. 
Bob Bwah'd:
Quote:Chapter 1 or 2... where Doug realizes about just how darn BIG the node is, and that no one has been tapping it... then theorises "With a node that big, anyone who tried would have all sorts of control problems because of the power overload" or words to that effect."I was an Otaku before those kids came along and changed the meaning of the word." -- HM "Howling Mad" Wilson to more than one team-mate. Hear that thunder rolling till it seems to split the sky? That's every ship in Grayson's Navy taking up the cry- NO QUARTER!!! -- "No Quarter", by Echo's Children Quote:What are you bwah-ing, Bob?Jeanne Jeanne Hedge www.jhedge.com go.compuserve.com/Comic Jeanne Hedge www.jhedge.com "Believe me, if I have to go the rest of my life without companionship, knowing myself won't be a problem." -- Gabrielle of Potadeia Quote:Oh! Um, well... that bit was left over from when the fic was originally set in the BGC universe that Twister and Legion had already dumped in the Mixmaster. The overload caused by the monster node was going to be the reason Twister's female form's magic was all screwed up... (Edit: fixed markup) -- Bob --------- There's no wrong way to eat a Rhesus.
The significance with regards to the birthdays is that they fall on the same days of the year as the birthdays of the seiyuu that played them. (n.b. the date given for Priss is that of her first seiyuu; the alternative is Nov. 17)
--Cpt K (whose mother, and twin brother and sister share the same birthday which means I can forget to get them anything much more efficiently)
Well, for better or for worse, it's written.
Besides, this works out well. She'll be either high-end Adept, or maybe even a coveted Sorceress-Adept by the time she's finished, simply by virtue of the fact that when she graduates to Adept level magic, *nothing will work right*. The entire section on Adept level magic won't gel with the results she's getting (Once she starts tapping the node). So she'll have to essentially reinvent what she needs to know, and develop the kind of control only a Healing Adept would have to have. By the time she's finished, she'll be a powerhouse of the first order. Now, there's just scripting that all in.
Okay, that works for me.
And that's probably before she even thinks to try Theurgy... -- Bob --------- There's no wrong way to eat a Rhesus. 
You know, I just had an odd vision of this - take the one Lina has when Amelia is first pestering her about teracher her the Dragon Slave, then substitute Scoop Chase age Lisa, who says, "How dare you destroy an innocent girl's camera, you evil mercenaries!? DRAGON SLAVE!!"
I know, by this time she's quite a bit more mature than that... well, she has a more durable camera, anyway... but still. - CD -- "Anko, what you do in your free time is your own choice. Use it wisely. And if you do not use it wisely, make sure you thoroughly enjoy whatever unwise thing you are doing." - HymnOfRagnorok as Orochimaru at SpaceBattles woot Med. Eng., verb, 1st & 3rd pers. prsnt. sg. know, knows 
Theurgy- n. The working of miracles.
"Do you think they'll make it?" "It'll take a miracle." ''We don't just borrow words; on occasion, English has pursued other languages down alleyways to beat them unconscious and rifle their pockets for new vocabulary.'' -- James Nicoll Quote:Pin-Pon! Cpt K wins the no-prize! Quote:We've got a spate of that, and near-misses, in our family too. My mother and I, my cousin and our grandfather, two more cousins (sisters) on consecutive days, among others. If you remember, you make a lot of people happy, if you forget they're all mad at you!Jeanne Jeanne Hedge www.jhedge.com go.compuserve.com/Comic Jeanne Hedge www.jhedge.com "Believe me, if I have to go the rest of my life without companionship, knowing myself won't be a problem." -- Gabrielle of Potadeia Quote:Aw, give the girl a break. Even Knight Sabers can have perfectly normal and uneventful days JeanneJeanne Hedge www.jhedge.com go.compuserve.com/Comic Jeanne Hedge www.jhedge.com "Believe me, if I have to go the rest of my life without companionship, knowing myself won't be a problem." -- Gabrielle of Potadeia
Sure they do, Jeanne. Its just that those don't make for good stories. =p"I was an Otaku before those kids came along and changed the meaning of the word."
-- HM "Howling Mad" Wilson to more than one team-mate. Hear that thunder rolling till it seems to split the sky? That's every ship in Grayson's Navy taking up the cry- NO QUARTER!!! -- "No Quarter", by Echo's Children Quote:We're talking about a simple birthday party. Unless I greatly misunderstood, a scene, not a story. For heaven's sake, even Bert VV managed to give the KS birthday parties where the excitement derived from food, drink and gifts, not behemoth blue B-series boomers blunderingly bombing and blasting away. A little contrast is good for a story that's more than a few scenes long.Jeanne Jeanne Hedge www.jhedge.com go.compuserve.com/Comic Jeanne Hedge www.jhedge.com "Believe me, if I have to go the rest of my life without companionship, knowing myself won't be a problem." -- Gabrielle of Potadeia
Oh, I agree. However, Linna's birthday's going to be a bittersweet event, since although Reika's there, she's a little wrecked at the moment. And no matter how hard she tries to have a good time, the tragedy her family's endured will come back to haunt her. She'll see Irene ghosting in the background in her imagination, her recent loss pulling her down, and the fact that since Linna's now running the organization her own family wants to destroy, this could be her *last* birthday... Reika's going to be a basket case for a while, I'm afraid.
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