(To "All The Young Girls Love Alice", by Elton John and Bernie Taupin)

Raised to be the heir to the Tendo Ryu
Akane was the queen of her high school too
With a hair-trigger temper and a fist of steel
You just can't imagine how she made the boys in school feel

Diplomacy it seems was just a dream
She couldn't get along with the boys on the scene
But what do you expect from a chick who's just sixteen
And hey, hey, hey, you know what I mean

All the young girls love mallets
Hammerspace mallets, they say
Engaged to a stranger
She lets loose with her anger
And flattens her new fiance

All the young girls love mallets
Hyperspace hammers, they say
He's engaged to Akane
Who looks at him funny
And finds himself flying away

Poor little darling with a frown there on her face
Being forced to marry is a drastic change in pace
Getting engaged to a guy you just met
And they tell you it's next Tuesday that your wedding date is set

And who could you call your friends -- not that Kuno
Not Shampoo, or Kodachi, or Ukyo
And certainly not that sixteen-year-old Romeo
And hey, hey, hey, oh don't you know

All the young girls love mallets,
Great big sledgehammers, they say
When the baka annoys you,
Or when chased by the boys, you
Swing it and send them away

All the young girls love mallets
Huge shojo mallets, they say
When angry or troubled
Your impact is doubled
They're certain to see it your way

All the young girls love mallets
Fewking big mallets, they say...
(fade out)

This page was created on July 27, 1998.
Last modified March 12, 2011.